Everyone Seems to be Talking, but is Anyone Listening?
Listening is an unsung hero, the game-changing foundation of an extraordinary workplace. But let's confront the truth head-on: mastering the art of listening is no walk in the park.
Working with others without excellent listening skills is like watching a movie in a foreign language without subtitles. Try sharing the plotline with someone who has yet to see the film. It isn't easy to connect, and it creates division.
We can categorize listening into focus in three basic categories:
- Internalized Listening - is a transactional type of listening. You might focus on the speaker, but all the while, part of your focus is concerned with what you can do for this person. Or what can this person do for you. You are thinking about how to solve their problem or what you can say to console or commiserate. Unfortunately, this causes you to miss the opportunity to understand in depth what the person is communicating.
- Attentive Listening - you are intensely focused on what the other person is saying and do not want the conversation uninterrupted. You are curious and seek to understand the essence of what the other person is saying. Nothing's distracting you. Even your ideas are quickly dispelled and don't get in the way of you hearing the other person.
- Multi-sensory Listening - requires the most effort and focus. You listen with all your senses. Observing and absorbing non-verbal cues and subtle nuances while gaining a deeper understanding of the speaker's thoughts and emotions, listening with a "third ear" to explore a deeper meaning. You know you are in this state of focus when you can hear sound effects in their mind – the clink of a penny dropping, the thud as they talk about hitting a wall. You can feel them straining to avoid something or pulling towards something – and you have a sense of what that might be. Practicing this listening enhances understanding and empathy and can lead to more prosperous, more nuanced interactions. It requires a high level of self-awareness.
Listening helps us evolve our perspective and feeds our intuition with better information. I agree wholeheartedly with Albert Einstein's statement, "Problems cannot be solved with the same level of awareness that created them."
If you repeatedly encounter the same problems, listening better can change your awareness.
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