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Don’t Worry, Be Happy

There's a pervasive belief that positivity is the key to happiness and success. We live in a society with images of happy people in happy circumstances. While maintaining a positive outlook can be beneficial, it's important to be aware of the dangers of overemphasizing positivity—often termed "toxic positivity." This forced optimism can encourage us to suppress negative emotions, which can lead to a range of mental health issues. 

It's also natural to want to avoid discomfort, but repressing negative emotions like anger, sadness, or fear doesn't make them disappear. New research shows it can amplify these feelings, leading to increased stress and anxiety. Ignoring our negative emotions robs us of the opportunity to understand and grow from them.

On the other hand, dwelling excessively on negative emotions, a practice known as rumination is equally unproductive. Ruminating keeps us stuck in a cycle of negativity, preventing us from moving forward and finding solutions. The key is not to avoid or dwell on these emotions but to sit with them, acknowledge them, and explore what they might tell us.

Sitting with negative emotions is not about wallowing in them but about confronting and processing our feelings. This practice, known as emotional acceptance, is a powerful tool for recognizing our emotions without judgment. It's a way of understanding that these emotions are a natural part of the human experience. We can uncover deeper insights about ourselves and our lives by accepting and exploring our discomfort.

This process of sitting with discomfort can lead to significant personal growth. It builds emotional resilience, making us better equipped to handle future challenges. It also helps us develop a more authentic sense of meaning in our lives. When we embrace our full range of emotions, we become more attuned to what truly matters to us, guiding us toward a fulfilling and meaningful life.

So, while positivity has its place, it's crucial to balance it with a willingness to sit with our negative emotions. Doing so can transform discomfort into a powerful tool for growth and meaning. So, next time you feel a negative emotion, don't rush to suppress it. Instead, take a moment to sit with it and see what it has to teach you.

Flip Flops Make the Perfect Summer Welcome Sign

New content for you…crafting! After a hectic day in healthcare, crafting can be a great after-work de-stresser. Make this welcome sign out of brightly colored flip flops and other readily available materials in less than half an hour.

What You’ll Need:

• Seven flip-flops of different colors
• Clear glue
• A ruler or thin, flat strip of wood
• Foam letters to spell welcome
• Additional decorations like flowers or butterflies
• Ribbon for hanging

Steps:

1. Glue the back of the flip-flops to the ruler or wood. They can be staggered or arranged in a straight line.

2. Glue each letter to the heel of each flip-flop to spell “Welcome.”

3. Tie additional decorations to the strap of the flip-flops or attach with glue.

4. Let dry.

5. Add a ribbon for hanging.

Note: An additional piece of wood at the back of the flip-flops gives extra stability.

De-Stressing the Workplace

How to “consume stress” instead of “letting stress consume you.” That’s what attendees will learn in Derek J. Smith’s company-wide Webinar next month. Derek’s high-energy, interactive session will include three specific actionable tips for mitigating stress at work.

To attend Derek J. Smith’s Webinar, join a ZOOM meeting:

Tuesday, July 16

9:30 A.M. CT/10:30 A.M. ET

4:00 P.M. CT/5:00 P.M. ET

Missed a webinar?

Click on a link to watch a recorded webinar.
April: Nomi Health Benefits
May: My Benefits Work

Vickie Mears, LCSW, an Advocate for Healing after Loss

Supporting the bereaved is one of the essential services of a hospice and Crossroads is fortunate to have many incredible bereavement coordinators, all with certificates from the highly-regarded Grief Recovery Institute, whose “focus and expertise is in helping people recover from loss, a normal and natural process that everyone experiences in their lives.”

With 20 years of service at Crossroads in Kansas City, Bereavement Coordinator Vickie Mears, LCSW, is known for her professionalism and her compassion. She is generous with her expertise in end-of-life care and respected by both her leaders and peers. “People who know me, know my passion,” Vickie said. “I am always learning and adding to my repertoire.” 

Vickie Mears LCSW, Bereavement Coordinator,
Crossroads in Kansas City

Vickie said there is no one single definition of loss. Individuals experience loss differently and there’s no set timeline for recovering from loss. Bereavement coordinators “lend people hope until they can manufacture their own again.” 

Understanding a person’s values and how one’s identity is changed and challenged through loss, and the attachment (emotional bonding) system is the lens Vickie uses as she counsels those who have suffered a loss.

Not everyone “ages out of grief in one year,” Vickie said in reference to a hospice’s charge to support bereaved family members for one year after the loss of a loved one. A posture of “protest” for the first year can be prevailing but is often the first step toward healing; a natural response rooted in love.

“Our society isn’t great at supporting loss,” Vickie confirmed. Sometimes it takes a year just to recognize that one might benefit from support. 

In addition to her many years specializing in bereavement, Vickie subscribes to evidence-based approaches and what science reveals about healing after loss. 

She carries her passion for the topic beyond Crossroads as President of the Grief Support Network, a Kansas City-area professional networking and educational group for people working with the bereaved.

Keep Learning to Stay Successful

Vickie attributes her success as a bereavement coordinator to her passion for learning and her commitment to being a “lifelong learner.” She has a thirst for knowledge and a drive to apply it to her work at Crossroads. “The bereaved can greatly benefit in their journey of coping with loss even with just the fundamental aspects of grief; yet there is so much more that we can share with those who are ready. It is a meaningful role to be in.”

But Vickie also has a personal connection to the field and her own story of loss, having lost her mother at age 10 and her father as a young adult. In reflection, she sees how she would have benefited from professional support as she faced her own healing journey. She brings that life-changing experience to her work at Crossroads.

The one thing she’d like her team members to know about counseling the bereaved is that she recommends a trauma-informed approach. “Especially after COVID, there’s a higher frequency of trauma.”  There’s a greater need to learn “calming and emotion regulation” techniques and how life before a loss impacts life after a loss.

Vickie began professional life as a physical therapist assistant and then worked for many years in occupational medicine delivery and administration before returning to school at age 40 to obtain a graduate degree in social work. She described her academic program as antiquated, related to evidence-based grief models. That’s because Vickie is at the top of her field subscribing to the most advanced and most contemporary approaches to aiding the bereaved as they heal from loss.

Don’t Worry, Be Happy

There's a pervasive belief that positivity is the key to happiness and success. We live in a society with images of happy people in happy circumstances. While maintaining a positive outlook can be beneficial, it's important to be aware of the dangers of overemphasizing positivity—often termed "toxic positivity." This forced optimism can encourage us to suppress negative emotions, which can lead to a range of mental health issues. 

It's also natural to want to avoid discomfort, but repressing negative emotions like anger, sadness, or fear doesn't make them disappear. New research shows it can amplify these feelings, leading to increased stress and anxiety. Ignoring our negative emotions robs us of the opportunity to understand and grow from them.

On the other hand, dwelling excessively on negative emotions, a practice known as rumination is equally unproductive. Ruminating keeps us stuck in a cycle of negativity, preventing us from moving forward and finding solutions. The key is not to avoid or dwell on these emotions but to sit with them, acknowledge them, and explore what they might tell us.

Sitting with negative emotions is not about wallowing in them but about confronting and processing our feelings. This practice, known as emotional acceptance, is a powerful tool for recognizing our emotions without judgment. It's a way of understanding that these emotions are a natural part of the human experience. We can uncover deeper insights about ourselves and our lives by accepting and exploring our discomfort.

This process of sitting with discomfort can lead to significant personal growth. It builds emotional resilience, making us better equipped to handle future challenges. It also helps us develop a more authentic sense of meaning in our lives. When we embrace our full range of emotions, we become more attuned to what truly matters to us, guiding us toward a fulfilling and meaningful life.

So, while positivity has its place, it's crucial to balance it with a willingness to sit with our negative emotions. Doing so can transform discomfort into a powerful tool for growth and meaning. So, next time you feel a negative emotion, don't rush to suppress it. Instead, take a moment to sit with it and see what it has to teach you.

Flip Flops Make the Perfect Summer Welcome Sign

New content for you…crafting! After a hectic day in healthcare, crafting can be a great after-work de-stresser. Make this welcome sign out of brightly colored flip flops and other readily available materials in less than half an hour.

What You’ll Need:

• Seven flip-flops of different colors
• Clear glue
• A ruler or thin, flat strip of wood
• Foam letters to spell welcome
• Additional decorations like flowers or butterflies
• Ribbon for hanging

Steps:

1. Glue the back of the flip-flops to the ruler or wood. They can be staggered or arranged in a straight line.

2. Glue each letter to the heel of each flip-flop to spell “Welcome.”

3. Tie additional decorations to the strap of the flip-flops or attach with glue.

4. Let dry.

5. Add a ribbon for hanging.

Note: An additional piece of wood at the back of the flip-flops gives extra stability.