What Song Will Be Played at My Funeral?

While it may be difficult to think about your own death, planning your funeral is an incredible gift to you and your loved ones. You’re able to choose the exact service you’d like, while your friends and family are relieved of making difficult funeral decisions in an emotionally stressful time. Each part of your funeral – from the type of service to the music played – can be selected in advance and personalized according to your wishes.

How to Plan Your Own Funeral

Your funeral is a way for family and friends to say goodbye to you, but it’s also a way for you to say goodbye to them by designing the funeral experience you want for them. Some people prefer a very traditional service in accordance with their religious and cultural traditions. Others want something more unique. Some prefer services be kept somber, while others want a more uplifting experience with upbeat songs, funny stories, and brightly colored flowers.

When you plan your own funeral, you can work with a funeral home or you can plan it yourself with the help of family and friends. It all depends on what you want. 

Where to Start

Almost anything can be tailored to your wishes when you plan your own funeral. Before planning the details of the service itself, it is helpful to decide a few things:

• Do you wish to be buried or cremated or have your body donated to science?
• If you will be buried, where would you like to be buried and would you like a traditional burial, a green burial, or something else?
• If you will be cremated, would you like the ashes to be scattered somewhere, buried, or placed in an urn for display?

It’s important to know your rights. The Federal Trade Commission has created The Funeral Rule, which requires funeral homes to give consumers accurate information about requirements and pricing.

It’s also important to know your local and state regulations if you are considering cremation as some places have rules against it and others may require a permit.

What can you do to personalize your funeral service?

When you start to think about what you would like to happen at the service, you will need to think about the order of things and how you would like the service to look and feel. Here are a few things to consider:

• Would you like to offer a viewing, visitation, or wake before the service begins?
• What type of service would you like? A funeral or graveside service before burial or a memorial service after burial?
• Where will your service take place?
• Who will officiate your service? For a religious service, you will want to select an officiant from your faith. If it won’t be a religious service, anyone can act as an officiant/host.
• Who would you like to speak at your service?
• Do you have specific readings, poems, or prayers you would like read?
• What type of music would you like at your service?
• If you have a casket, who would you like to serve as pallbearers?
• What type of flowers or décor would you like at your service?
• Who will be invited to your service?
• Will there be some type of post-service reception?
• Is there a charity you would like people to support in your memory?

Once you have decided what you would like, your funeral instructions should be included with your advance directives, so everything is in one place for your family. This will make your instructions clear and allow your family to honor your wishes.

Crossroads Hospice & Palliative Care chaplains and social workers can help patients receiving hospice care with funeral planning. If you wish to know more about hospice care, please call us at 1-888-564-3405.

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