Grief and the Holidays: 8 Tips for Grieving During the Holidays

The holiday season, filled with expectations of joy and togetherness, can be particularly difficult when you're grieving. Whether you’re dealing with a recent loss or feeling the absence of a loved one from years past, navigating grief during the holidays can feel overwhelming. Here’s a guide on how to approach the season with compassion for yourself and others.

1. Make a plan to cope with grief during the holidays.

As the holiday season approaches, it helps to make a plan that aligns with your emotional needs. Talk with family and friends about what traditions feel manageable and consider adjusting. For some, keeping traditions intact can provide comfort, while others may find solace in trying something new. The key is to be gentle with yourself, set realistic expectations, and give yourself permission to alter plans if needed.

2. Honor your loved one. 

Creating a new tradition in memory of your loved one can bring comfort and meaning to the holidays. Consider ways to honor their memory, such as:

• Hanging a special ornament on the tree.
• Lighting a candle or dedicating a space in your home as a memorial.
• Donating to a charity that was meaningful to them.
• Displaying a memory box where family members can write down memories to share together.

These rituals can help you acknowledge their absence while also celebrating the joy they brought into your life.

3. Remember that others are grieving, too.

Coping with grief during the holidays affects everyone differently, and it’s helpful to be mindful that family members or friends may also be processing their loss. Some may want to gather as usual, while others may feel the need for solitude. Respect each other’s boundaries and offer support as you’re able, possibly by reaching out to friends of your loved one who may be missing them this holiday season. 

4. Give yourself the freedom to say no.

One of the hardest parts of dealing with grief during Christmas or any holiday is finding the energy to participate in the typical festive gatherings. Don’t feel obligated to attend every event and let yourself decline invitations if that’s what feels right. It’s okay to stay home, cancel plans, or even step away from a gathering if it becomes overwhelming.

5. Have a back-up plan. 

Even the best laid plans may not go as expected. Prepare a back-up plan in case grief feels overwhelming during the holidays. It might mean calling a friend, journaling, spending time with a support group or religious community, or simply allowing yourself a quiet evening at home. Remember, your mental and emotional well-being is a priority.

6. Find comfort through giving back. 

Sometimes, giving back can bring comfort amid grief during the holidays. Volunteering, donating, or helping others in need can shift your focus and bring moments of peace. As Crystal Gorel, Bereavement Coordinator at Crossroads Hospice & Palliative Care, says, “When you give back, you feel good; and when you feel good, the hurt lessens.” Simple acts of kindness honor your loved one’s legacy and help light up the season in meaningful ways.

7. Embrace your emotions, whatever they may be.

Grief can bring up a range of emotions, especially during the holidays. Sadness, anger, and moments of joy can all coexist in surprising ways. Allow yourself to experience whatever feelings come up without judgment. It’s okay to cry, laugh, or reminisce – these are all natural responses to grief.

8. Reach out for support.

Navigating grief and the holidays doesn’t have to be a solo journey. If you’re struggling, reach out to friends, support groups, or grief counselors. Crossroads Hospice & Palliative Care offers grief recovery groups in the communities it serves, providing a safe space to connect with others who understand.

The holiday season may never be the same, but with time, it can still hold moments of peace and meaning. By allowing yourself to grieve, honoring your loved one’s memory, and seeking support, you can navigate the holidays in a way that feels true to your journey.

For more support, please contact Crossroads Hospice & Palliative Care at 855-327-4677, where grief recovery groups and resources are available to help you through this difficult time.

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