One Finger Can’t Lift a Pebble: A Hospice Nurse’s Perspective
Growing up in the Native American culture and having a diverse genetic background, it seemed as if my family had an adage, proverb, or idiom for almost everything we faced in life. One of my dad’s favorites was: “One finger cannot lift a pebble.”
As a child, that statement did not make much sense – even as I tried to lift a pebble with one finger to no avail. The true meaning did not come to me until I was much older. I hadn’t thought about that saying for a very long time – until recently when I realized I needed help.
As a nurse in the field of hospice and palliative care for over 27 years, I have been through extensive training on disease progression, treatments, and training on the emotional impact of illness on our patients and their loved ones.
This is designed to ensure that the hospice and palliative care team has a full understanding of these issues and diseases. But reading about it is no substitute for going through it yourself.
I recently found this out firsthand – when my husband was diagnosed with a rare type of cancer.
This news was earth shattering and unexpected. I realized as I faced this with him, that we, too, needed the expertise of others to help us walk this path. Those who have not only the clinical expertise, but also the training to understand the nuances that patients and their loved ones face during a life-limiting illness.
What I Learned
Even with my years of clinical hospice experience and training, I found out very quickly we are not designed to walk through something like this alone. I recognized that I may be a nurse, but in this case, I am a spouse, a mother, and a sister. I am vulnerable and I am scared.
We need the expertise, support, and guidance of the professionals. Regardless of whether we are nurses, physicians, social workers, or business owners. Regardless of whether we are strong willed or independent. No matter how much we have an understanding of what is happening, no matter how strongly we think we can handle this on our own, we need to reach out and lean on those that can walk with us, support us, and allow us to lean on them.
I (reluctantly, I may add) had to put away my pride and my glaring misconceptions on how much I thought I could handle on my own. I reached out for help. If you are facing a life-limiting illness yourself or if you have a loved one that has been diagnosed or dealing with a life-limiting illness, do not face it alone. Please know that Crossroads Hospice & Palliative Care is here to help.
We all will need someone to help. Remember: one finger cannot lift a pebble. But as a hospice and palliative care team, we can help you in lifting what seems like a mountain.
DeAnna Looper, RN, CHPN, CHPCA, LNC, CHC, CPCO
Crossroads Hospice & Palliative Care
Clinical and Regulatory Advisor to the Board
Crossroads provides care and support to patients facing serious and terminal illness. To learn more about our services, please call 1-888-564-3405.
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